" I tried to chase you down; I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground. I tried to earn my way; I tried to tame this mind. You better believe that I am trying to beat this. Where will it end - it goes round and round - over and over and over again. Keep spinning around, I know that it won't stop, til I step down from this sick cycle carousel... " Lifehouse
I absolutely love this song by Lifehouse. This song so clearly relates to my spiritual journey. Believe me when I say that I have pretty much done whatever I could to gain God's attention and love. Incredulously, I recall all that I did - letting others tell me what is right and wrong, disciplining my thoughts to only "holy" thoughts - no questioning, no dating, no casual conversations, tithing and giving massive amounts of money and time.
What I did not realize is that I already have God's attention and love. Long before I came into this world, He loved me. He loved me then and He so loves me now. There's not one thing I can do to add or subtract from this amazing thought.
Sigh. Today, I choose to step off of the carousel and leave it far behind me. Today I choose to breathe in the freedom of knowing that I am fully and deeply loved. This knowledge moves my heart to reach out to others - to be open to new experiences - to be open to meet others. I am His beloved.